Questions Essay

Are actions truly permanent? In Albert Camus's "The Strangers," does Meursault know he is going to die, therefore accepting it? In Frank Kafka's "Metamorphosis," is Gregor glad to be an insect because he anticipated it? By being a submissive soul, does a person push him/herself onto the brink of destruction, only to either explode or never be able to take action? Each novel provides supporting examples of the idea of not being able to undo actions, but does this mean that people can never change?

            What leads up to Meursault's imprisonment? He kills an Arab without reason or purpose, but does Meursault himself really kill the Arab? He may have pulled the trigger, but he is ordered to do so by Raymond; this poses the question: did he truly choose to kill the Arab? In following the same monotonous routine every day, does he show that he cannot stray from the norm, thereby never truly being able to make a decision? Regarding his imprisonment, why does he not choose to speak at his trial to defend himself? Is it to showcase that the pressure of making a decision is too much for him? Or, is Camus perhaps signifying that those who do not make decisions never will?

            Why would Gregor turn into a vermin? Did his meager and subservient life lead to him becoming, literally, a bottom-feeder? Is he becoming a vermin significant in that his life is as worthless as a pest whose life can easily be ended with no impact on others? When he is stuck in his room, unable to complete any actions, does he show that no actions lead to no results? Why, then, does he even go on with life as a traveling salesman? As a salesman, he relies on others to make decisions, so does he really take action? When he later dies, his family literally goes out for the first time in months; does this sudden yet resolute action show that him taking no action led nowhere in life, thereby creating no everlasting impact on his family? By telling Gregor to leave, thus leading to his suicide, is his death even of his own accord? or is it his family's?

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Murder in the Cathedral PP

Pretty sketch, I know, but I'm not tech savvy so... file:///C:/Users/Owner/Documents/Murder%20in%20the%20Cathedral%20PP_files/frame.htm

The Mystery of the Caves

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

            In the poem "The Mystery of the Caves" by Michael Waters, a boy reveals his relationship between himself and his two parents in comparison to a story he has read. In the story, a boy struggles to survive in a deleterious cave filling with water while in his life he struggles to choose between his mother and father. Based off the information provided in the poem and in comparison between the boy's life and the story, it can be inferred that fantasy is not so different from reality. This can be supported through the images and symbols of the text.

            The boy in the cave faces decisions that can either save or kill him. "The Mystery of the Caves" opens with a boy frantically running through a cave as it fills with water. The rising water evokes an ultimatum: the boy can either venture to the top but risk failure in finding nothing, or he can risk dying on ground level. This begins the dilemma of pivotal decisions in the cave. The "labyrinth of caverns" serves as a metaphor that symbolizes the boy's confusion in making a decision. Later on, the boy holds, "One yellow finger of flame wavered on his last match." (7) Here, the boy has one last lit match, which symbolizes yet another instance of him having to make a decision to leave his spot or stay before the flame dims out.

            The boy reading the book suffers from the same difficulty in making a decision. His reality begins with his mother and father arguing. The boy is unsure which side to take, and "The boy found it impossible to see which passage led to safety." (15) This can be compared to the boy with respect to his hesitation in siding with his mother or his father but also to the boy's situation in the cave' should he endeavor to go to the top, or should he stay below? The mother's "blur of perfume" the young boy becomes entangled in symbolizes the haze of judgement he has in trusting either his mother or father. As the poem progresses, when the mother is being restrained by the father, the young boy observes her, "among bright islands of skirts." (29) The bright skirts can be paralleled to the match in that they evoke in each boy a question: what do I do?

            Clearly, both boys face the dilemma of what decision to make, with the boy in the story deciding to leave or go and the boy in reality torn between his mother and his father. An incontrovertible answer, however, is never stated and is instead left to the reader. The boy finishes the poem with the idea that the boy in the story, "is still searching below the light for a thin pencil of light." (33) The light, symbolizing hope, poses an interesting question to the reader: are all decisions in life regretted? When people enter into the world of what could have been, does fantasy really become that different from reality?

Existentialist Thoughts II

This may sound a bit repetitive with respect to my last post, but it is worth noting. Also, I like to write these journal entries as a sort of reminisce to the infamous journals we kept in Ms. Brey freshman and sophomore year. Speaking of Ms. Brey, at the Homecoming Dance, I was speaking to her. We talked about the usual unusual things we talk about, but I would expect nothing less when speaking to one of my past mentors. I asked her what I should do regarding a teacher, and she replied that there is nothing to do. I can fight and try to change him, but I cannot control how he is. After a person has an idea, it can be hard to change his/her standpoints, if not impossible. This may sound like ignorance, but only so if moderation is not introduced. The main point that she was saying, however, is that I am not always in control of others, but I am always in control of myself and myself alone. I must be able to adapt to every and any situation. After reading the statements on Existentialism, this idea that Ms. Brey told me relates to the concept, "In life, I must make choices regardless of what’s best for others. I can only choose what’s best for me." This may sound arrogant or egocentric, but it is nevertheless true. I cannot decide what other people want, nor should I have to. If I did, free will would no longer exist. I know what I want, so I will pursue it. If others do not have the ambition to do what they feel will benefit themselves, then why should I? If I have to help them, they may want to do something that will not benefit me. Is the goal of life not to achieve a sense of pride, or accomplishment? The degree of accomplishment varies from person to person of course, but I think that's what it's all about. If everyone were to make choices to benefit others, where is the motivation to keep living for oneself? If people have nothing to live for, is then, the most authentic moment in life death? That would be the case in a world where people do not motivate and push themselves for more. Yet, that is a world I slowly and fearfully see approaching.

Quick Existentialist Thoughts

"I think, therefore I am." This is actually a quote on my wall of quotes. I sort of feel like an ignoramus for not knowing it relates to existentialism up until this class. I always had the idea that nothing ever really was pre-determined. Still, doesn't it make sense? The American Dream is all about being able to do something that you would not otherwise be able to do in another place, to rise up the social ladder, to lead a more fulfilling life. If an American believes that a poor person stays poor and a wealthy person stays wealthy, he/she seems more European than American. Besides, history tells us that rich men die homeless or poor men become world-shaping visionaries. I hate the idea of not being in control of your own life. Flashing back to the middle school, I always think of something a young boy once told me. During the scrub eighth grade superlatives, for whatever reason some persons in my classes voted me for most likely to succeed. It was ridiculous back then, but it was still interesting to see. I was befuddled. Then, when speaking to a very bright young boy (Now in BCA), he said something I was shocked to hear and will never forget. "They voted for you?" Whether he meant any harm I cannot answer, but I was shocked at how a young boy, who was supposed to be "smart," said something of that caliber. That condescending voice really made me think that I was just like the character I manipulated in my Call of Duty games; I was and am the only person in control of myself. It's interesting to think of the idea that others have an impact. They really do not. The only way they do is if you let them. As an existentialist once told me, "Screw everyone else. Do what you want."

An Echo Sonnet: To An Empty Page

In Robert Pack's poem, "An Echo Sonnet: To An Empty Page," the narrator is speaking to the reader with a desperate tone. He asks the reader what the true purpose of life is, and whether it is even worth it. He wonders if death is the sure and inevitable solution. Through the course of the poem, the speaker doubts life. In the end, it can be inferred that based off the information provided in the poem, life is a gamble, and the only way to find out whether it is worth it is for all of us to take a risk and put ourselves out there. This can be supported by the structure and literary devices in the poem.

            Pack's use of structure tells a story in itself through his use of iambic pentameter. The first quatrain begins the line of questioning between the narrator and the reader. He asks, "How from emptiness can I make a start?" (1) Here, the narrator depicts the struggles that life entails when one is born with nothing. The echo begins with 'start" and goes to "grief." This incontrovertibly asserts that the moment life starts, it will only lead to grief. The next quatrain poses the same idea. The narrator proclaims, "Leaf blooms, burns red before delighted eyes." (5) The leaf symbolizes life, blossoming and then burning suddenly; this shows the flash that life is. The third quatrain asks the reader, "Are you glad that I must end in sleep?" (9) Here, the narrator is again attempting to bombard the reader with questions to make him/her think of life's value. The echo, saying "leap," is again supporting the idea for the reader to take a leap of faith for life. The couplet, however, takes a final and firm spot on the meaning of life. The narrator says that, "I feel your calling leads me where I go," providing a now more submissive and final stance on the debate between life and death. The echoing "go" emphasizes the reader to go and experiment with life.

            Through the literary plethora in the poem, the same meaning can be derived of life being a gamble. The leaf being born and suddenly dying serves as both an allusion and a metaphor to the ancient phoenix symbol. The leaf blossoming and burning quickly relates to the myth that a phoenix would die suddenly and be reborn out of the ashes. Similarly, the cycle of life never ends; one may die, but another shall live. This supports the idea that life is always happening; why not take the risk if there is nothing to lose? The personified enemy, death, also shows the idea that because death if human like life, it is neither better nor worse than life. Again, why not choose life? The tone, in going from doubtful throughout all the quatrains to submissive and rational in the couplet, supports the different opinion that the narrator now has. He now realizes that he must choose, so why continue arguing? He ultimately chooses death, showing the prevailing nature of life over death.

            Clearly, life is something that cannot be wasted. Millions of people every day are able to enjoy their food, their families, and their lives all because they have something that is permanent: life. Life is something that is permanent in that it can never be replenished or regained; it is mortal. Death, on the other hand, is eternal. The interesting question then is: why do people want to rid themselves of the priceless value known as life?